Monday, August 23, 2010

Go --> Forth

It seems like the Philippines was so long ago, but it hasn't even been a month since we've been in Indonesia. I feel like the Phillies & Indo have been two completely different chapters I have been through in my life, & this phase I am in is the most powerful yet. I have taken myself out of the busy life-style that was consuming every part of my being & gave myself the opportunity to take a step back, listen to the silence, & get to know myself again. Not only am I continuously learning what it means to live on a planet (and not just a country), I am also learning what it is I love & what is truly important to me. Typically my summer would have been spent engulfed & hyptomized by loud music, parties, & mind altering experimentation, but this year I chose something different. I decided to see the world, practice yoga, climb volcanoes at 4am instead of party til 4am, meditation, silence, knowledge, God (actually I call it "Father Sky", I believe you can call this living entity of connection & oneness anything you want, but most people know it as God), & most importantly I chose self-exploration.
The major difference between the Philippines & now is that when I began this voyage I felt stuck.. internally... I came equipped with a ton of goals to achieve, so I knew I traveled half way across the Earth for a reason, but I didn't know where to start. So, in all honesty, the majority of the time I was in the Philippines I was solely an observant adventurist. The experiences were wholesome in every way-but it was almost as though I was on vacation & soon enough I would be back to the busy world of unconsciousness. I went about my days wondering when this "huge transformation" was going to take over me & even questioned if I was in the right place for it to happen. I underestimated the validity that all great things happen in good time. Now, looking back, the transformation began with a book (A New Earth) during my last week in the Philippines. I discovered that all these changes that I wanted to happen would only transpire by starting with myself FIRST. Without even knowing it, the door was opened, & all the things I so desperately desired started coming in one by one.

Now, I don't want to undermine the whole "starting with myself" journey. This was actually gruesome & there are many things about my personality & past that require some serious confrontation-this truthfully was no easy battle to initiate, but it was exactly what HAD to happen in order to prove to myself that I can obtain the things that I REALLY want in life.

The longer I have been overseas the more deep, heartfelt, & real it has become. Sometimes I don't even recognize myself (in the best way possible). The other day my yoga teacher identified that "people often associate yoga with self-improvement, but it's not, its actually all about self-exploration." As soon as she said that the light went off in my head & I said to myself (internally) "that's it! This journey I am on is all about figuring out what my mind, body, & soul is capable of." After all I have been through I can see now that all three parts of myself are being tested & exercised (even when I felt stuck).
Before I left the US I titled my journal "Trip of Transformation-mind, body, & soul." The door has been opened & it will consciously never be closed.

I understand how freakin sweet it is to be human, how lucky I am to be in such an amazing situation, I how I will always live up to my last name!


  1. Thank You. Incredible, Your word's. Always, Mem.

  2. YES!!!!! I can practically taste the burning of old Brynn that has begun and this new phoenix rising out of the molten ash. Shine that light Goforth, bringing those shoulder blades closer together and make this experience a reflection of that which you manifest inside your precious heart. I love you