Inside My Brain.... For a moment...

As I sit here on my balcony gazing out into the forest
I hear the rain breathing on my roof.
Breathing soooooooooo loud…

I contemplate.
My day.
My life…
This very moment.

This forest looks very different from what I know,
But now, it is starting to feel like home.

Rainy season is embarking on this tiny island.
I feel the seasons changing.
I feel it here.
I feel it at home.

It’s confusing… I know…
My home, that is.
The problem is
my home feels to be in many different places.
Will she always run around?
Will she never settle down?
You ask…
I ask…
……………….
Home?

Pause.

Hmmmm…. I contemplate this thought.

Like many, I was raised to think there was only one home.
My warm cozy bed, with all of my belongings placed exactly how I liked them.
My family sleeping sound under the same roof.
Bitter sweet contentment.
Gold
to a child of innocence.

But, for me,
Things
Changed.

My father left,
Then my brother left,
Things weren’t so cozy anymore.
It was bare.

Naked.

Then I left.

Years later, my mom left.
Now, on its last leg
this house
that I thought was forever to be my home
is empty.

So…
On the opposite side of the planet,
I challenge the word home.
Is it an actual place?
Or just a feeling?
Is it possible to have,
or to feel
this “home” sensation in multiple places?

They say “Home is where the heart is”
I contemplate this.

Pause…

My heart is in me…
It is in what I do
In what I say
How I learn
In the people I love
In the people I meet
In the journeys I force myself to endure.

Again,
I challenge myself
To find comfort in discomfort
And call this my home.
To see the things which are hard to swallow
And call this my home.
To embrace each person that I encounter
And to call them my home.

For,
if my home
when I was a child was a box,
It would be a small box.
But!!!
Measurement is damaging.
So, for now, I will say my box is…..

~Ever-expanding~

Bless the realization today that
THE PLANET IS MY HOME!
And
where ever I may run off to,
It is there
Where I can
Call each place
My home.